


Why

by Alex_the_ghost



Series: Alex's venty fics [2]
Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, ED - Freeform, Eating Disorders, MIA - Freeform, Other, ana - Freeform, remy eating disorder, sanders sides eating disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 15:22:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18967948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_the_ghost/pseuds/Alex_the_ghost
Summary: Remy didn't think he had a problem, i mean he always wanted to like himself, and now he did. But was it worth it?





	Why

**Author's Note:**

> tw: bones, bulimia, anorexia, restricting, starving, purging, mention of doctors appointment, comment if i need to add more, always here if you need to talk  
>  stay safe guys gals and nonbinary pals <3

When Remy developed an eating disorder, it was really intentional. He just drank a lot of coffee, and smoke a cigarette or two so he just never felt hungry. He already didn’t like himself so why would he eat. Then he started noticing how slim he looked, how his clothes hung off him in the most punk grunge way possible it looks staged. And he liked it. He liked the way bets got caught around his hip bones. He like the way he could put both hands between his thighs and still have room to move them. He liked the way his collar bones looked sharp enough to cut, the ribs poking through on his sternum, and the ribs on his chest, and being able to wrap his hand around his wrist with overlap. He liked being the tall lanky skinny friend, he actually liked what his body looked like for once. So what if Patton looked at him like a kicked puppy every time he walked out of the kitchen with another cup of coffee in hand. So what is logan was mumbling mortality rates and side effects and anything under the sun that had to do with anorexia at him when he stopped for long enough. So what if roman wouldn't stop staring and trying to ask if he was ok. So what if Virgil stopped talking to him. So what if Patton stopped talking to him. So what if Logan stopped talking to him. So what if the only time he left his room was at midnight, to stock up on celery and coffee and maybe an apple. So what if he ate more than he was supposed he spent the next 15-20 minutes in the bathroom trying to be as quiet as possible. Maybe he didn't care as long he stayed skinny, as long as his bones stayed visibly and coffee was the only thing in his stomach- if anything at all. He finally liked the way he looked, finally found happiness in the mirror. Why would he just throw that all away? Why would he risk everything he's worked so hard for?  
“Remy? Are you, are you gonna be ok?” he looked over at Patton, the only one brave enough to speak up before his appointment. He smiled slightly turning to look back out the window. Right, that was why. They were why. Why he would risk everything to keep them, to make stop hating him. To keep Virgil talking to him, Roman from staring, Logan from mumbling, and Patton from, crying. He wanted to like himself, to be bone thin, but if the cost was all the pain it inflicted on his friends- his family. Then maybe it wasn't worth it.  
“Yeah Pat, I'll be ok.”


End file.
